Not a blood relative, and maybe technically not a family member yet- but my Fiance's nephew, little Peter Horan, is a pretty special kid, along with his brother Tommy. They live with their mom and dad in the beautiful town of Sandy Hook, Connecticut. I visited them at their home for the first time this year at their family reunion, and I got to spend a lot of time with the boys, who are both very active, happy kids. They like to swim, play video games, explore nature, and run around like crazy- you know, the way kids do. They smile a lot, Peter with a wide, toothless grin. They are good kids, with good hearts, loving parents, and good heads on their shoulders, and I am sure their futures will be bright.
But yesterday was not a bright day for them. Yesterday they faced a kind of evil that the world may never understand. The kind of evil that wears the face of a man and yet holds no humanity within itself.
It's heartbreaking to think that these innocent children, along with so many others, had to endure the events that happened yesterday in Sandy Hook, a quaint little town with more cows than stop lights, rolling hills and covered bridges and old time general stores. It's a sobering reminder for all of us who have grown complacent, grown comfortable with the illusion that we are safe in our neighborhoods, in our schools, and in our homes. It's a sickening feeling to be brought face to face with the reality that one day can change our lives forever, and there is little to nothing we can do to prevent it.
In the days after these events (and it seems it happen all too often) I find myself trying to put myself in these peoples shoes. I wonder what I would do if confronted with such a situation, how I would react if someone I knew and loved fell prey to one of these predators, what on earth would drive a person to do such a heinous, wasteful, purposeless thing as to take the life of someone they don't even know. It occurs to me that, sadly, these things happen every single day. We as a species have been our own sole natural predator for the better part of our existence on this planet, killing, defiling, and victimizing one another, sometimes for gain, sometimes for revenge, and also sometimes for seemingly no reason at all.
I keep coming back to the same conclusion in my head each time I mull these things over: that our society is broken. That we have devolved back to the animals we were thousands of years ago, with no concern for others, and solely our own personal betterment in mind. Or maybe this whole civilization thing was a joke all along, a set of fake rules we made up to convince ourselves that we are better than what we really are- snarling, violent, and stupid animals, without any values, without any integrity, without any capacity for action and reasoning beyond our own selfish and pointless needs. It makes it difficult, sometimes, for me to understand why I do what I do with Troop For The Cure- what is the point of trying to help people, when people are just dogs that don't know better, don't want to know better, and will simply eat you when the time comes that they no longer have a use for you?
But meeting people like Peter and Tommy have taught me better than that. Bright children that want to help, to do good, to see others smile- that have been raised with values and empathy and love for one another- that is the answer. It's easy to get bogged down in the bad things that humans do to each other, it takes a closer look to see the good side of humanity. And maybe therein lies the flaw- we tend to focus on the bad things that happen to us, to mull over our personal problems and get bogged down in affairs that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter. I can't pretend to know or understand what problems faced Adam Lanza, but I can say without a doubt they did not get any better today, and whatever they were they were not worth the lives of 20 innocent children and 8 adults.
In the slew of the media onslaught, of the pushing of political agendas, of the heartless and callous quips you may see or hear on the internet or on the radio or in passing conversation, I urge you to remember this: You alone have a choice in life to dictate whether your actions are for the betterment or decline of our society. What will you champion in this life? What will your priorities be? Are these things you fret over every day worth it? What in life can hold more joy or satisfaction for you than the love and understanding of a another human being? Make hope a goal in your life. Make happiness a priority. Make helping others a standard by which you measure yourself. Break down the walls that society has built to separate us as people and search for common ground among your fellow man. Appreciate what you have and cherish the ones you love, and make it known to them just how important they are to you.
Tomorrow I will remember the 20 children who were needlessly taken from us by purchasing 20 items to donate to the Toys For Tots Charity. Maybe this seems insignificant. After all, how can a toy compare to the loss of a unique and beautiful life? Obviously it can't. But I'll choose to honor them by doing something good- by doing something instead of nothing- because sometimes it's the little things in life that make a difference.
There will always be evil in this world, and bad things will always happen. It is our responsibility to our children, to our fellow man, to make sure that good things happen, too.
http://www.toysfortots.org/
-TFTC
**UPDATE**
My future Mother-In-Law stepped up to the plate and is making a difference. She's partnered with her daughters, one of which was a therapist who specialized in abused children, and organized a drive to send copies of a special children's book entitled "A Terrible Thing Happened", which is designed to help children cope with traumatic experiences that they have witnessed, to the Sandy Hook are to help the families affected by this tragedy. The book can be purchased through the American Psychological Association here : http://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/4416428.aspx or ordered by phone at 1 (800) 374-2721and shipped directly to this address:
94 Riveside Rd
Sandy Hook.Ct. 06482
Care of Sandy Hook Book Drive
The Troop has ordered 5 copies to be sent on behalf of My Dad, who has been deeply affected by this tragedy as he watched it unfold during his recovery. I have always felt that helping others and feeling productive is a very important part of the healing process- it empowers us and removes the victim status from our shoulders. Give someone the gift of empowerment, and the gift of empowering their children.
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